Home

Great performance review, but promotion is still on hold

Published Thu, 20 Feb 2025 20:31:58 GMT

Q. We just had our semi-annual performance review and I crushed it! I was told my promotion is on hold though. I was told that at year-end. And last year this time, too. I’m exceeding all my goals. My salary doesn’t mirror this either. What should I do?A. I’m sorry to hear the frustration, which is palpable, and I totally understand where you’re coming from. The good news? You are acing it! And it sounds like you’re fast-tracking your way to a well-deserved promotion.Now for the bad news, which is technically good news. I’d look for a new job externally ASAP. Your employer has given you all indications based on past behavior that the promotion, while waiting in the wings is just that: still waiting. It’s TBD.You deserve more than TBD. Granted, I don’t know the back story — maybe there’s a reason why things are on hold in addition to you not being paid accordingly. Maybe it’s valid. Maybe it’s not. But you seem a...

Fascinating doc about Negro ‘League’ hits a home run

Published Thu, 20 Feb 2025 20:31:58 GMT

Directed by Sam Pollard of the scorching 2020 documentary “MLK/FBI” and produced by among others Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson, director of the Academy Award winning “Summer of Soul (…Or, When the Revolution Could Not Be Televised),” “The League” tells the fascinating story of the Negro National League.The League was both a collection of teams and a phenomenon that helped shape modern-day baseball and modern-day America. As Pollard reveals, using exisitng and new interviews with historians, former players, sportswriters and other experts, a host of other archival footage and still photographs of posters, tickets, programs and other “ephemera,” the “League” was a powerful and unique form of African-American expression at a time when African-Americans were being routinely oppressed, abused and even lynched. As Pollard explains, the migration to the North (and West) was a large part of the phenomenon. In such cities as Chicago, Detroit, New York City, Cleveland, and Newark, N.J., Af...

It’s not ‘your’ time, it’s your kids’ time

Published Thu, 20 Feb 2025 20:31:58 GMT

Q. I live about 200 miles from my kids. They live with their mother, and I see them the third weekend of each month and during school breaks. The weekend visits are very stressful. I come into town, but they always have things planned, like a baseball or soccer game, and their mother is the coach, so she’s always there. That means I have one day a month — Sunday — to be with my kids by myself on my time. It’s not enough time to do anything. I’m thinking when I come into town, they should be able to spend the time with me, not be stuck going to a soccer game. Their mother says, “After the game.” What’s good ex-etiquette?A. Ah, the “my time” dilemma. Let me clarify: It’s not “your time.” It’s not “mom’s time.” It’s your kids’ time. Their lives do not stop because you come into town. You assimilate into their lives, not they into yours.So, if they have games or a special project on your scheduled week, join the party, and be excited to be part of your children’s lives. If you want to p...

Yacht Rock Review sets steady course for musical treasures

Published Thu, 20 Feb 2025 20:31:58 GMT

You’d think that people would’ve had enough of silly love songs. I looked around the Leader Bank Pavilion and I saw it wasn’t so.On Thursday night, on the huge Pavilion stage, Yacht Rock Revue sold nostalgia, escapism, the notion that musical chops matter, and a post-modernist take on popular music. But mostly, like Paul McCartney before them, the aviator-sporting middle aged guys in YRR sold silly love songs. Or at least re-sold them.An Atlanta-born tribute to ’70s AM Gold and ’80s Top 40, YRR went mainstream on the back of years of touring – the band plays the Cape Cod Melody Tent Wednesday and Thursday before returning to the Pavilion on Friday. Too good to remain purely a cover band, YRR made an album of originals in 2020 – the LP, “Hot Dads in Tight Jeans,” is a tasty cocktail of soft rock, indie pop, sparkling disco and glitchy electronica. The Revue’s covers and originals both work because they take the music (if not themselves) seriously.And yes, you can take Looking G...

Keeshond slower to get up and down

Published Thu, 20 Feb 2025 20:31:58 GMT

Dear Dr. John,My nine-year-old Keeshond weighs around 54 lbs. In the last month or two, I have noticed that he is much slower getting up and down, cannot jump up on my couch anymore, and it appears that his hind legs shake at times. What could the possible cause of his slowing down and apparent discomfort? I would like to keep him comfortable and wonder what diagnostics might be needed and what treatments might help. I suppose I should call my vet to see what can be done but I am fearful of possibly receiving bad news. E.D.Dear E.D.,As we and our pets age, things slow down and we find that there is not enough strength and stamina to do things as were done in younger years. There are several possibilities that might explain what you are seeing with your dog. First and foremost of these is simple arthritis which can affect dogs at different ages. Your dog may have also simply suffered a bad back sprain and anti-inflammatory medications might resolve the problems.Other possibilities in...

What to watch: Kirk Cousins makes brilliant move with ‘Quarterback’

Published Thu, 20 Feb 2025 20:31:58 GMT

Athletes take a risk when allowing cameras into their personal lives. But the decision can pay off. Big time. Such is the case for Minnesota Vikings QB Kirk Cousins, who is profiled in this eight-part series along with the Kansas City Chiefs’ Patrick Mahomes and Marcus Mariota, who was benched by the Atlanta Falcons during filming. When it comes to Cousins, the producers skirt controversy, focusing instead on his work ethic, charity work and religious beliefs. He’s so ecstatic during a visit to the Barnes & Noble in Eagan, Minnesota, that you’d think he was getting a Hall of Fame tour. Producers were fortunate to get behind-the-scenes access during the Vikes’ unforgettable 2022 season, which featured the greatest comeback in NFL history. But when it comes to polishing your public image, the more valuable footage is that of Cousins reading and praying with his son. The next time he throws an interception, it’ll be a little harder to boo. Wednesday, N...

Top tips for preventing heat, sun-related illnesses in kids this summer

Published Thu, 20 Feb 2025 20:31:58 GMT

As summer beckons and children head outdoors to play, it’s important to protect them from too much sun and heat as well as air pollution, especially on days when the air quality is poor.Families are encouraged to check the local daily Air Quality Index to identify when air pollution, wildfires and heat raise the risks of asthma and other health concerns.It’s great to see children enjoying nature and reaping the benefits of outdoor activities. But as we encounter more intense weather events, including severe heat, families can use some layers of protection that families to help their kids stay healthy.Sunburn and UV rays are one concern. Sun and heat can also worsen local air pollution by contributing to ozone and smog.Here are some tips to ensure a safe and fun summer for everyone:Babies under 6 months of age should be kept out of direct sunlight. Move your baby to the shade under a tree, umbrella or stroller canopy. Dress babies in lightweight clothing that covers the arms and legs...

Legal fee awards don’t always level playing field

Published Thu, 20 Feb 2025 20:31:58 GMT

Q. My husband has a lot of money and has no issue paying his lawyer.  My lawyer filed a motion to get me money so he can keep representing me.  He asked the judge to order that my lawyer get half of each payment my husband makes to his lawyer to keep us even.  The other lawyer said they would give me $10,000 to pay legal fees but that had to be an advance against what I ultimately receive in a settlement.  I don’t agree that is fair because my husband can just spend what he wants when he wants.  So, my lawyer went to court to argue the motion.We got the order today and the judge gave me $10,000 and said it is an advance. My husband has already paid his lawyers double that amount.  The $10,000 I got isn’t enough.  I already owe my lawyer $8,500 of that.  I don’t know how I am supposed to do this without any money and I don’t understand why my husband gets to pay for a lawyer and I don’t.  His mother gives him money and he sets it aside in his own name so he can keep running up my fee...

Dear Abby: MIL’s a menace to family’s happiness

Published Thu, 20 Feb 2025 20:31:58 GMT

Dear Abby: I married a wonderful, thoughtful man 30 years ago. His family accepted me and were very kind, with the exception of his mother. She hardly looked at or talked to me. If she did talk to me, it was about her being too young to be a grandmother (I had three children from a previous marriage; he had never married or had children). She also would regale me with stories about how my husband got in trouble during his youth (he was a good boy, in my opinion).So now we come to the present. Our two children and I have been gossiped about, treated like servants when we are with her and demeaned when spoken to, and my mother-in-law constantly tries to talk alone with my husband. I’m sure she’s trying to split us apart. Her abuse has separated me from his extended family.Recently, I told my husband I am no longer visiting her because it has caused too much anxiety and depression. He is not supporting me out of fear of what she might do to him. Please advise, Abby. —...

How San Diegans can claim remaining pandemic-era food benefits

Published Thu, 20 Feb 2025 20:31:58 GMT

SAN DIEGO -- Families in California have one month left to claim pandemic-era food benefits, and the San Diego Hunger Coalition (SDHC) is urging households that qualify to take advantage of it before its gone.Low-income households are able to request benefits from the Pandemic Electronic Benefits Transfer (P-EBT) program, a federal initiative set up to provide money for groceries while schools and childcare facilities were closed, through Aug. 1.Benefits are issued on an EBT card to the families of children who were eligible to replace the free or reduced-price meals served at childcare or schools. Families that qualify for the benefits can receive up to $1,192 per student on the card to use at grocery stores, farmers markets or online retailers.Two rounds of the benefits were issued during the pandemic. The second of the two rounds, P-EBT 2.0, were issued from October 2020 to August 2021. According to SDHC, all cards should have been received by December 2021. However, the advocacy...